Every year (or multiple times per year) I decide it’s a great idea to revamp my life. By that I mean my work and all that’s related. Perhaps it’s not the wisest decision, but refreshers are good, especially for a mind becoming stagnant.
Four pieces were completed at the beginning of January for a play. As soon as they were done and shipped out, I paused to look around my studio and realized that it had become horribly chaotic. Paint tubes scattered, tiny shreds of paper, dirty brushes, not one surface was bare, including the floor. I did what I could, which was to walk away from it for a bit over a week. It was not a relaxing time because all I could think about was getting that area in order so I could get back to work. I had been so focused on those four pieces that when they were done, I felt lost.
I finally forced myself to clean (pics to come). I’ve found that even with this clear space, my brain isn’t working the way it needs to. The empty space is in my head, not in my studio. I’m uninspired!
While I continue to draw and paint, I figured I would update this blog and post a pic of one of the paintings. If you have thoughts, inspiration, motivation, anything, tell me. Share your brains.
I would say I feel like a failure for not keeping up with this or that, but that’s not entirely right. I’ve been keeping up with other things — taking care of myself and my surroundings. Simply, unwrecking my world.
I moved and that has improved my surroundings. The lull that I’ve entered is delicious. It’s much needed and will allow me to carry on the next time shit gets wrecked. Wouldn’t have it any other way, though. All good is just as bad as all bad, yeah? A different kind of bad, anyway. Like a Michael Jackson kind of bad.
While searching for new digs, one criterion was having a dedicated room for doing art. I’m still unpacking, but my brushes and paints are out. I found scraps of canvas that I cut a while back and have started a painting.
Confession: I have been notoriously careless when it comes to painting (or doing any kind of art). My needs (what I thought) were to simply get out whatever is in my head. I get the image out, but it’s a bastardized version of what I wanted to do. My impatience let the shoddiness slide just so I could move on to whatever was next. And if nothing was next, then I did nothing. Since coming to this shameful realization this year, I have kicked my impatience in the teeth and now it’s in a semi-conscious state and unable to speak.
This painting is taking much longer than normal. It’s not even a quarter of the way done. This is driving me mad, but I need it to drive me mad. It’s good for me! Plus, the more time I take on it, the more I’m spotting these horrendous mistakes that I otherwise wouldn’t have seen/cared about if I was rushing. Intention is good. Discipline and all that.
Now that I’ve embarrassed myself by sharing all that, let me share what I’ve done so far:
Alright, so I have bits of my work area set up and I even started working on doing something with 2 corkboard bulletin things I’ve had for…7 years (“Hello, Hoarders? This is It. We should talk.”).
At this moment I’m debating whether not I will share photos of the work area considering that it’s still a mess. Some things are where they belong and others are not. Such such as cat litter. Does cat litter belong in my work space? Of course not, but chronic disorganization is the way in which I roll, people. There is no hope for me. Not even the cute Canuck professional organizer with the hot voice can save me (Hellen Buttigieg…look her up and agree with me! Her first name is spelled with 2 “L”s. It would be nearly impossible for her to not be attractive!).
Tomorrow I’m leading an Arts and Crafts class at a local nursing home. I know what you’re thinking: “They’re going to let the nude-loving-disemboweled-viscera-drawing-unstable It near sweet, delicate old people?” Yes. Yes, they are. Keep in mind, however, that along with art, macabre weirdness, words, and anatomy, another favorite thing of mine is chilling with the elderly, yo. I love it. It’s preferable to clubbing or…I don’t know- whatever other activities involve very little shiny clothing and large amounts of alcohol. That’s enjoyable too, but…different.
Before I continue going on and on about nothing, I’m going to affix some pics! The last one is the Dali door! My front door is in need of repair, so while I wait, I figured I would do some decorating.