When progress goes kaput…

Sometimes I liken my moods to a plane and I’m the pilot.

I’ve been really motivated recently. I’ve been getting a lot done, maintaining my house
really well, being very creative and focused. I’ve been keeping up my various social media accounts, updating them with pictures of what I’m currently working on. I’ve just been doing really well.

About the plane… For the past 2 days I’ve felt a descent. Not a gradual descent. More like
my engines suddenly failed. I woke up and the colors weren’t nearly as bright and vivid as they have been. Never a good sign.

A few things can happen. I quickly descend in a very rough way, unsure about the landing. Or I quickly descend in a graceful way, unsure about the landing, but able to control the plane enough that I have a chance of not crashing. Maybe I have time to plan. There’s still that uncertainty, though.

When I get close to land, I might be able to land the plane in a relatively safe way.
Certainly some turbulence and discomfort. The seat belt will undoubtedly dig into my thighs and leave some bruises, but I’ll be okay. Shaken up, but okay. Or I crash and burn. The plane is wrecked and cleanup will take some time.

I think I’ve been hypomanic. I want to believe that all of this progress I’ve been making,
all of this focus and drive is 100% me. I did this. I created and maintained this. I am
doing great. The way the plane is shaking, though, I think it might’ve been hypomania and I’m getting ready to descend.

So far, my descension isn’t reckless, so I’m definitely ahead. I’m noticing it rather than
my engines bursting into flames. I’m getting little warnings here and there, letting me
know something’s amiss.

I have a feeling I’ll land with some grace. My fear is that everything I’ve been doing will
stop. The motivation will stay gone. I remember, though, that the desire has not left.
That’s a great sign! Maybe I can work with that.

In the meantime, here’s a photo of my oldest boy, Patrick. He’s 15 and a professional. What is he a professional of? I’m not sure, he won’t tell me. It’s clearly something really
important, though.

Back to work…

Every year (or multiple times per year) I decide it’s a great idea to revamp my life. By that I mean my work and all that’s related. Perhaps it’s not the wisest decision, but refreshers are good, especially for a mind becoming stagnant.

Four pieces were completed at the beginning of January for a play. As soon as they were done and shipped out, I paused to look around my studio and realized that it had become horribly chaotic. Paint tubes scattered, tiny shreds of paper, dirty brushes, not one surface was bare, including the floor. I did what I could, which was to walk away from it for a bit over a week. It was not a relaxing time because all I could think about was getting that area in order so I could get back to work. I had been so focused on those four pieces that when they were done, I felt lost.

I finally forced myself to clean (pics to come). I’ve found that even with this clear space, my brain isn’t working the way it needs to. The empty space is in my head, not in my studio. I’m uninspired!

While I continue to draw and paint, I figured I would update this blog and post a pic of one of the paintings. If you have thoughts, inspiration, motivation, anything, tell me. Share your brains.

Unrequited | 8″ x 11″ | acrylic on canvas

Stu-stu-studio…

Alright, so I have bits of my work area set up and I even started working on doing something with 2 corkboard bulletin things I’ve had for…7 years (“Hello, Hoarders?  This is It. We should talk.”).

At this moment I’m debating whether not I will share photos of the work area considering that it’s still a mess.  Some things are where they belong and others are not.   Such such as cat litter.  Does cat litter belong in my work space?  Of course not, but chronic disorganization is the way in which I roll, people.  There is no hope for me.  Not even the cute Canuck professional organizer with the hot voice can save me (Hellen Buttigieg…look her up and agree with me!  Her first name is spelled with 2 “L”s.  It would be nearly impossible for her to not be attractive!).

Tomorrow I’m leading an Arts and Crafts class at a local nursing home.  I know what you’re thinking: “They’re going to let the nude-loving-disemboweled-viscera-drawing-unstable It near sweet, delicate old people?”  Yes.  Yes, they are.  Keep in mind, however, that along with art, macabre weirdness, words, and anatomy, another favorite thing of mine is chilling with the elderly, yo.  I love it.  It’s preferable to clubbing or…I don’t know- whatever other activities involve very little shiny clothing and large amounts of alcohol.  That’s enjoyable too, but…different.

Before I continue going on and on about nothing, I’m going to affix some pics!  The last one is the Dali door!  My front door is in need of repair, so while I wait, I figured I would do some decorating.

Pinteresting things with Pinterest…

I’m not known for being clever…

I received an invite to sign up for a Pinterest account back in February. I finally took the plunge a few days ago and created one. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it or even what I’m supposed to do. I keep hitting “Like” on images that I actually like and then I also pin them – frankly I don’t know the difference! Why would I pin something if I didn’t like it and why “Like” something if I have no intention of pinning it? Whew!

There was a very passionate and frightening discussion going on about artists using Pinterest and having their work stolen and something about copyright issues. They chose not to have an account based on that. It makes sense, of course, but the other side of it is that Pinterest seems like it could be used as a tool for promoting the work that you do. Since I’m still not exactly sure how it really works, I don’t know if the link belonging to the original image follows the image through being repeatedly pinned. I don’t even know if that made a bit of sense. Say I have a website (soon) and I decide to pin one of my images. The image is linked to my site, so if someone clicks on it, they can see where the image came from, yes? Does this go away as the image goes through the process of being pinned over and over?

Even if the original link was removed at some point and my image was just another image floating around out there, aside from typical concerns (someone taking the image and creating prints or printing it on t-shirts, mugs – making a profit off your work in some fashion), is there another reason to be worried? The idea that your work is no longer yours is a bit bothersome, but I’m not sure of the likelihood of that happening with my work.

I do have a great deal of fun looking at other artists’ boards, though! I have voyeuristic tendencies, so looking at images that a person has collected satisfies my weird-ass curiosity! In case anyone wants to peek into my head, my Pinterest is ItDoesArt (of course!). I can’t promise anything exciting and, as you know, I have a problem sticking with things so my…picture collection (what the hell is it called?!) is sparse and boring. Once my shoulder heals a bit, I will pin the hell out of the Internet…

P.S. Just so you’re aware, every time I say “Pinterest”, I pronounce it “Pin-interest” and it’s making me effing crazy…I don’t know why I keep doing that, but I do hope I’m not alone!

Hello stomach virus…

How are you this evening?

Nature put me out of commission for a few days and while I was hoping that I would be well enough to accomplish something productive today, I didn’t. I was well enough to, but I had a lot of cleaning to catch up on. Plus I don’t consider cleaning productive – my kind of productive anyway.

Thankfully my illness opened my head up a bit and allowed a few ideas through. I’m excited to start working on them tomorrow. Whilst in bed and unable to move, I was stuck with the t.v. I found a show called…well, something about art. It had “art” in the title. I watched 2 episodes (they were about an hour long) and although I missed most of the second episode (sleep attacked me), I was pleased with what I saw of the first. It’s about an art competition; 10 (or so) artists compete for their own show at the Brooklyn Art Museum. The first contestant to get canned was Ugo; a beautiful Frenchman whose style is similar to that of Keith Haring. Initially his piece was unimpressive and boring…lots of red layers. But then he removed the red backdrop and WOW. It seemed like it came alive. It was unfortunate he didn’t remove the red backdrop from the get-go – undoubtedly that would have saved him.

Don Vito the “Pig” is running laps around his cage and it’s loud, so I’m retiring for the night. Since I haven’t posted to this, I will leave you with a picture I drew while working as a TSR. No thought involved (obviously) – simply sitting in front of a computer, listening to people threaten to end my life because they have no internet connection. Sometimes I actually miss that job, but I think it’s because I was good at it and there are very few things I’m good at.

Goodnight!